|Have you seen @lostbag|
So, I went on a business trip and Lufthansa lost my bag on the return leg. After a painful journey back home and trying to get into my house (my bag had my keys and my wife was away) I began the process of trying to get my bag back. After a few weeks of unsuccessful bag finding I realised that I was in a Kafka'esque world of bizarre bureaucracy where no one knew anything and nothing made sense.
Living in the 21st Century with social networking and Apps, I realised I could challenge the status quo. I was an empowered consumer! Their inefficient call centres and surly staff could do nothing to stop what was to become the greatest social media campaign the airline industry had witnessed since that guy made a song about an airline which broke his guitar and went, like, totally viral on YouTube.
119 tweets and about two months later I had 10 followers. Sadly, my @LufthansaBad campaign never went viral and MY BAG IS STILL LOST AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME MONEY BACK FOR IT!!!!!
But this post is not to teach you about success. It is to teach you about failure. My failure. I give all future angry and righteous customers a playbook on how not to run a Twitter Campaign.
Play 1: Don't set up a new twitter account as you will start with 0 followers.
I decided not to use my personal twitter account to rant against @Lufthansa_DE so as not to pollute my twitter stream with bile so I set up a new Twitter account @LufthansaBad. I had to work very hard to get 10 followers.
Play 2: Humour doesn't work unless it's funny
Play 3: Tweeting a companies inefficiencies is probably a bit boring
Play 4: BBC Watchdog doesn't really care
Play 5: There is a @handle for everything, but that doesn't mean d!ck
Play 6: Hash tags are useful only if they belong to a bigger conversation
Realising that I hadn't used many hashtags I decided to push the #haveyouseenthisbag hash tag. It was catchy and no doubt would soon be trending on Twitter once I had repeated it six or seven times. The thing I learnt about hash tags is they are a good way of latching onto an existing conversation not necessarily a great way of starting one.
Play 7: Mocking PR twitter announcements makes you look alone and miserable
No such luck.
Play 8: Don't get too excited if you get a bite. It probably means nothing.
At about tweet 65 someone in the Lufthansa Marketing department got in contact. I felt like I changed the world when I received this and incorrectly thought I was on my way to a massive compensation payout and maybe a lifetime of free flights to Frankfurt.
What I soon learnt was that the Lufthansa Marketing department don't have much influence or interaction with the Lufthansa Lost Baggage department.
Play 9: Not many people know about Kafka
Getting desperate I came up with what I thought an ingenious idea. My campaign was too specific. It was about Me, @lostbag and @Lufthansa_DE. I needed to tap into the deeper and wider sentiment of consumer anger against faceless confused bureaucracies. If I did this, then my bloody campaign would go viral.
12 Tweets. 3 Followers.
Play 10: Learn from your mistakes.
I could go on with the major failures and mistakes of my Lufthansa Campaign but there isn't enough room on Google Bloggs. It is worth while mentioning a couple other trends such as tweeting pictures of derelict and lost bags to @Lufthanse_De and scanning Twitter for more airline woes and trying to connect with those people. None of those yielded any value at all.
I think the final sign of a failed campaign is best described in this last Play.